I
wasn’t quite sure if I’d ever put this life story into print. It’s sooo
embarrassing. Will I regret it? Maybe, but here goes. It’s all about getting out of our comfort zones. Apparently, I’m in my comfort zone quite often. And, to top it off, I have the false belief that I have the super-ability to remain in that comfort zone, responding to all stresses with peace and love, no matter what happens. I teach yoga, after all!
Well, all of those preconceived notions about myself were turned upside down a few weeks ago when my daughter Kenzie and I rented a pontoon boat while we were in Gunnison. We do this almost every year, and look forward to having some girl-time, as we float on the lake, catch some rays, and read our books. Sounds like a pretty relaxing time, doesn’t it? Well, it certainly was until we were about an hour into our float-time, and thought we should move up the lake a little further. My husband Tom and son Taylor were on their own fishing boat somewhat nearby, and we thought we should cruise around and see what the fishermen were up to. I turned the key to the boat and . . . nothing. I tried once more. Nothing.
Michael, the guy who showed us where everything was on the boat before we left the dock, told me that if the boat had trouble starting, to just push the key in as I was turning it, to choke it. I tried that, and nothing. Time to call for help. Fortunately we had cell phone service, so we called the boys to come and fix our problem. Tom got on the boat, looked at the motor, tried to start it, and said that he’d have to tow us in. So we hooked up with a rope and 30 minutes later we were back to the dock.
Taylor tied the front and back of the boat to the side of the dock and remained on the boat while I stepped off to get someone who worked at the boat house. I got back on the boat to start unloading our things when I noticed that the front tie had come undone! The boat was drifting off and away from the dock, held only by the single back tie. Kenzie was on the dock looking on, as I grabbed the little paddle they keep on the boat, got to my knees, and started paddling to get the front end of the boat back to the dock so we could tie it back down. I soon noticed that the paddling was getting nowhere, and as I looked back, I realized that the second tie had come undone and we were just drifting off, further from the dock!
This is when something in me snapped. Whether it was fear of getting stuck on the shallow side of the inlet just feet away, drifting off into the lake never to be retrieved again, or just feeling helpless about being up a creek without a paddle – OK, we were on a lake with a paddle, but you get the idea – without the motor, I panicked and began paddling even faster. I was yelling, “who didn’t tie the boat to the dock!?” in Taylor’s direction, and then, "don’t blame your sister” at the top of my lungs as I paddled faster and faster . . . still getting nowhere.
I looked over to the dock where one of the employees was calmly, and without a word, getting a rope prepared to toss to my son so he could pull us back in. He sort of reminded me of what Jesus must have looked like in the story of the disciples' boat during the raging storm, with everyone panicking except him. Then, I noticed the group of people on the dock, just looking on at this crazy woman on her knees trying to steer a 16-foot pontoon boat with this tiny little paddle. I’m surprised no one was capturing everything on video, but who knows? It could be on YouTube and I don’t even know it!
We finally got pulled back in, and when I was gathering up my stuff and getting ready to walk back to the boat house, I heard the employee get the motor to turn over. Perfect. Then, a little boy who had been standing on the side of the dock with all the other people yelled over to me, innocently, “Did you get your boat started?” I shot him the evil eye, and turned back towards the boat house.
To add insult to injury, the employee asked me, “Didn’t Michael show you where the red ‘fast start’ button is?” Um, no. Michael did NOT show me the fast start button, otherwise I probably would have used it! After all that, Kenzie and I were walking back to our car and I said, “Did I look like a crazy lady out there?” She hesitated for a moment, and then said, “You lost it, Mom.” I did, indeed, and it even surprised me. How could the calm, centered, peaceful person I know myself to be just snap like that?
I think it happens to all of us, and I think it comes from some deep-seated fear – whatever that is for us. I remember when my kids were younger and Taylor ran out into the street to retrieve a ball without looking. I screamed like a crazy lady (there she is again!) and ran out there to scoop him up before the car down the road got any closer. It’s times like these when we lose our sense of security, get out of our comfort zones, and snap.
I’m not 100% sure of the lesson in all of this, except for the fact that I want to be more like the guy on the dock throwing the rope, and don’t want to be the crazy lady paddling frantically. I also want to know where ALL of the red “fast start” buttons are in my life. Maybe we just need to remember that in all of our stressful, out-of-control, panicky times, there is Someone out there with a rope, and the fast start button is there if you just look.
