While we certainly don’t have manuals when it comes to being mothers and raising children, there is one thing we all seem to have bestowed upon us when we enter into the wonderful world of motherhood, and that’s the keen ability to worry. It starts early. When we’re pregnant, we worry about whether the little someone growing inside is getting the right nutrition. We worry about how the delivery will go. Once they’re born, we begin a roller-coaster ride of worry, and while the types of things we worry about are different at each age, the worry doesn’t get any less overwhelming. Worry is like a little worm that enters your head and just keeps munching away at your thoughts, taking you one direction and then the next, calculating all of the possible things that can go wrong. While I am no stranger to worry, I’d like to share a recipe for extracting that very hungry little worm and letting the worry go. It works for me when I find myself in a state of worry and I invite you to try it next time you are caught in this same trap:
Step 1: Acknowledge the worry. Most times when we worry, we let our rational minds go, and instead, let our irrational minds take over, sort of like a cassette tape that plays in an endless loop. Stop, and acknowledge the fact that you’re worried about something. Perhaps even write it down if you are a visual person, or say it out loud if you are an auditory person.
Step 2: Draw a line in the sand. Once we acknowledge the fact that we’re worried about something, we need to put it into perspective. Look at the big picture. Most of our worries have to do with what’s going on in the here-and-now, and we tend to extrapolate that situation out into the future, when in fact, we really have no control of the future. All you can do is focus on the present moment and draw a line between you and your worry. Make it stop right here and step over to the other side for just a moment: the place of peace and non-worry. Now, consciously sit in this space for a few moments, knowing that the problem and worry are still there, but that they’re on the other side of the line. This step allows you to distance yourself from the worry instead of sitting in it.
Step 3: Give it to God. This has to be a full-on effort on your part. There’s no such thing as halfway giving it up. Trust me, I’ve tried it. In order to fully release the problem to God, sometimes it takes being very demonstrative about it. Sure, you can simply pray about it, and this usually suffices for the smaller worries. But if it’s one of those big, hairy ones, try one of these actions:
1. Write down your worry on a piece of paper, and then crumple it up and give it over to God. You could place it next to your bible or a cross or perhaps even burn it to ashes. You can also hand it over to your spouse or a friend letting them know that you have given this worry up to God.
2. Ceremoniously wash your hands as you say out loud that you are washing your hands of this problem and the worry that goes along with it, and letting Him take control.
3. Journal about it. This can be very therapeutic, especially if you journal as if you are writing a letter to God. Tell Him all of your issues and then let Him know that this letter serves as official notice that you are putting it into His hands.
No matter which way you hand it over to God, this next step is critical, and that is to replace your worry with love. Look at the person you’re worried about with love. See the problem through the eyes of love. Know that love is powerful and can fix everything. I don’t know that worry will ever go away when we’re moms, even when our kids are grown, out of the house, and raising their own families. It’s just a way of life when you’re a mother, but as I’m sure you’ll agree, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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